Tonight

I remember when Dylan was two or three days old.  We were in the NICU with him and got called into an office to meet with the genetic counselors at the hospital that Dylan had been transferred to.  The results from Dylan's FISH test had come back and they wanted to discuss them with us. 

Dylan was born with Down syndrome and as we found out in this meeting, meant that he would be doing just about everything later than everyone else.  She said, "You know how other kids walk at about one year?"  Yes, I nodded.  "Well.  He probably won't walk until about two...maybe three." 

That.  That statement right there burdened me for a long time.  I could not, for the life of me, comprehend it.  Cassidy walked when she was 10 months old...   How could this be?  How?  What would we do?  What...? 


Well, it was to be.  Dylan turned two years old, then three.  Was he walking?  No.  Was it the devastation that I once believed it would be?  No. 

You see...after the initial bombardment of what he may or may not do, you discover that life happens.  Your eyes open to the bigger picture of what truly matters.  Walking, talking...that will come.

Yes, in time that stuff comes. And you smile and celebrate and marvel at the work that went into this very moment. 

And then. 

Just like that...life continues on.

Birthdays, Bikes, Buddy Walks, and Bridges

Life for us is different now. With my new employment and the kids' daycare and preschool schedules, our time together is less than it used to be. No, it is not like it was before, but it's good. We are all where we are meant to be and it's very, very good.

Cassidy celebrated her fifth birthday recently, which, if I think about deeply enough, fills me with a whole slew of emotions...

She got a big girl bike and has quickly gotten the hang of it. Now when we go outside and she rides it, she tells me straight away that she "does not want any help at all."

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This October was our third year attending the Buddy Walk for Down syndrome.  We couldn't have asked for a better day.

As we walked around, I couldn't help but think about how strange it is that I am the same person that I was three years ago. It upsets and disappoints me to think that there was once a time in my life that Down syndrome felt like a pit in my stomach... And now? I can honestly say that I am at absolute peace with it. Hm.  No...that's not right. Ah, it is deep and probably a post for another night, but suffice it to say, I will be forever grateful for whoever it was out there who thought that I deserved a child like this...

Forever grateful.

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Sometimes in the morning, in our rush to get out of the front door by 6:20, I forget... I forget to count my blessings.  I forget to remember that I am lucky and blessed beyond belief.  I forget until we begin to approach what Cassidy has named, "The Sun Bridge". Every morning as our car nears it, Cassidy asks if we are close. "Are we at The Sun Bridge yet?" and Dylan will yell, "Sun!  Sun!" I tell them we are almost there and that is when I remember all that is important.  I look in the rear view mirror and smile. We cross the bridge and look to our left as we see a perfect view of the clouds. We used to see the sunrise, but now it is too dark. Now we see the clouds and it's almost better...

This morning as we piled into the car, backpacks, bags, papers falling,  Cassidy asked me if we would see something pretty over The Sun Bridge today.  I said, "No, it's too dark." She said, "Yes we will. I know we will.". As we approached The Sun Bridge, we looked over and saw the most beautiful pink and purple sky. Cassidy said, "See! I told you. I was right. I was right, wasn't I?"

And I remember. Enjoy this time.  Savor this.

Be grateful...