Sunday, November 2, 2008

44 hours

I'm nervous. I'm anxious. Relieved. Restless.

I have no fingernails left to bite.

Dylan's heart surgery is on Tuesday... 44 hours to be exact. Four months of waiting has come down to hours now. I'm so tired, but I can't rest.

I wish there was some way for me to tell Dylan what is about to happen to him, but yet I know it's better that he does not know. He can not anticipate it. He won't go into this afraid.

I've been trying to focus on the moments after surgery. The time when I can see my baby being wheeled out of the operating room.

At night when I'm trying to go to sleep, sometimes images of the actual surgery creep into my mind. I don't want to think of that, but I'm afraid. For Dylan. For me. For my family.

But I am also hopeful. For we have every reason to be. Dylan is going into this surgery strong and healthy. Over the past four months, he has proven time and time again that he is a fighter. I have so much faith in my son.

Yes, we are certainly hopeful. Nervous, anxious, relieved and restless. But above all, hopeful.

7 comments:

Cleo said...

Dylan is a warrior with a very brave spirit ~ . His love and his strength are your strength.
Remember that the only thing Dylan really needs is your love, he knows he is loved unconditionally, that's all he needs to know and the most important is that he feels your infinite love for him, the force of your love is what keeps him so strong.
Laurie, focus in love. The power of your LOVE for Dylan will give you all the STRENGTH you need to help him in every step during these challenging times. Keep in mind that your love for Dylan is prayer in action, everything you do for him is a prayer itself, YOU CAN DO this!!!.
It is very important you continue to have FAITH in Dylan and in yourself, in your strengths. Trust with all your heart and being that Dylan is going to be OK and he will ~ , his surgery will be successful and he will heal nicely, all of you will get through this. Everything is going to be OK ~
Stay in the present, stay calm, strong and positive. Give all your power and energy to the positive thoughts and emotions, stay as much time as possible in a positive and proactive state of mind.Everything is going to be OK ~
Keeping Dylan and you in my positive thoughts and sending good energies your way. I will be sending prayers of strength, healing and peace for Dylan, you and all your family on Tuesday 11/4 and during recovery time too!!!. :) (((HUGS)))

Cathy said...

I know Dylan will do wonderfully and I know that you will too. Touching Dylan again after his surgery will be such a blessing. I already have lots of people praying for Dylan and after I post on her sites, there will be even more. Take care of yourself.

Lisa said...

(((Laurie)))

Amanda said...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- thinking of you guys on Tuesday!

Aaron and Amy said...

I've been thinking of you a lot, and we will keep you and Dylan especially close in prayer as you go through and recover from this surgery.

I thought of one more thing to tell you - and if you're tired of "surgery advice," just let me know and I'll stop. But, there was one more thing that I wish someone had told me, and that is to bring some extra socks or mittens for his hands. Matthew kept trying to pull at his tubes and oxygen on his face after his surgery, and when we came to see him one morning, his poor little face was all scratched up from his fingernails. The nurses had put his arms in restraints, which was really hard to see. But, if you leave some extra socks or little mittens, just in case, maybe you can avoid this. It worked with Matthew, and then he couldn't pull at his tubes and didn't need restraints. (Also, may want to trim and file those nails before surgery - that would have helped with the scratches, too!) :-)

Good luck. You are both going to do great. If you could get through that awful pre-op appointment, you'll do great on surgery day. Then, it only gets better and better.

blessingsandglory said...

Laurie - Just wanted you to know that you and your family are in our prayers. We will be thinking of you all, but especially sweet Dylan on Tuesday.

Amy said...

He's going to do great Laurie and with your love and support he's going to recover quickly.