about whether or not to come right out and tell people who I see, that Dylan has Down syndrome. Sometimes when I look at him, I do not see it. Occasionally I do. But sometimes I do not think that he looks like he has Down syndrome. Of course, that leads me to say that sometimes, errr alot of times, I still can not believe that he has Down syndrome. Im not saying that I do not really believe it...or that the tests were wrong. Of course I dont think that. It's just so surreal to me still. I am not at all finding it to be the tragedy that I originally feared it would be. In fact, I am finding it much too simple. I keep waiting for something to go wrong...for something to be difficult. Im wondering if the hard stuff will come if he does not reach his milestones "on time". I think about that, but then I also think to myself - 'Oh well! He'll get there when he gets there...what's the big rush anyway? They all get there eventually, right?' Umm, please remind me that I said this in a few months when Im whining about how Im worried because Dylan is not sitting up on his own. Haha.
Ahh, I digress...
Back to my original thought which was - I wonder if I should tell people that Dylan has Down syndrome. Is it necessary to let people know that? All of the people that I am close with already know, so Im talking more about neighbors, casual friends and colleagues. I guess my answer is no. People will either figure it out or they wont. It doesnt matter to me. If Dylan had a physical disability, I would not come right out and say, "Dylan is in a wheelchair". They would either see that or not...it doesnt matter, does it?
When I think about Dylan, I do not think about Down syndrome. I think about how Dylan is my baby and I love him. He is just like any other baby. I love him just as I love my daughter Cassidy and I would feel no need to point out to people when introducing Cassidy that she is a "typical" child. It just does not matter...to me.
6 comments:
I totally agree with you. It is hard to say because you are by no means trying to hide it, but why do you have to say it everytime. Dylan is no different then all of us and I think you should just say this is my son Dylan and that is it. He is perfect and that needs no explanation :)
And it does not matter to those of us that love you and Dylan. He IS perfect!
This is a question I wrestle with too, Laurie. However, something I've learned about myself is that I'm the sort of person who has this weird need to blurt the truth out, and I don't know why. Why do I need to tell everyone who asks the most casual questions about my baby that he has DS? I don't know and i often kick myself afterwards. Perhaps it's a need to unload, perhaps it's a test for acceptance, I don't know. But you've made some really good points here that you wouldn't point out that your other child is "typical." Food for thought.
Laurie,
Ran across this story after Dylan was born and thought you would enjoy it and find it inspirational. Check out karengaffneyfoundation.com.
I don't think there is a right or wrong.
I personally agree with how you are looking at it, but if you were to decide to tell people too, that would be fine.
When doctor's ask what Parker's diagnosis is, I have to stop and think......uh..diagnosis....what diagnosis. :D
He's just Parker.
Did you have pre-natal testing with your son? If so, did you contact whomever did the testing to ask how they missed the DS? Are you angry that the diagnosis was missed? If you didn't have testing, would you have made a different decision if you had known you son has DS? Either way, would you have made a different decision if you had known? Would it have helped you be prepared better in any way? I'm trying to decide if it's irresponsible of me to skip US and other testing with my next pregnancy.
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