But I'm not convinced. There is still something keeping me here.
I'm not ready.
I started this blog shortly after Dylan came home from the NICU over three years ago. Dylan's diagnosis of Down syndrome was a surprise at birth. As were his heart defects. I started this blog to keep family and friends updated on Dylan's daily life - which is why I named it, "Days with Dylan". I had no idea that it would become something so much bigger...
This blog became my support system from quite early on. I remember years ago, writing posts with tears falling down my face. I was overwhelmed and found that the connection with others who were going through the same things as we were, immensely helpful and comforting. Especially around the time of Dylan's heart surgery, I felt that I was not alone; that there were many people out there thinking of us...people who knew exactly what we were experiencing; what my own heart was feeling as his got repaired.
Now that Dylan is 3 years old, life is different. I am not sad and I am not afraid. I am hopeful, happy, and deeply in love with my son. This past month I wondered if there was any reason for me to continue Days with Dylan. Our life is...much less dramatic now.
But there is a reason to continue. The reason is Dylan. The reason is the importance, the necessity, of advocating for people with disabilities; for people who are thought of as "less than". If there is any chance that someone out there may come across this blog and walk away with the feeling that Down syndrome is nothing to be fearful of, then it is worth it. If someone comes across this blog, spends some time reading about Dylan, and leaves thinking just a little bit differently about the way she treats others or the way she thinks about people with disabilities, it's worth it.
I honestly believe, deep deep down in my bones, that Down syndrome is a blessing.
So, I'm not ready to stop just yet. I want to keep writing and sharing Dylan's story because I feel that it's a story that is very much worth sharing.
Enough with the serious stuff...
More posts to come...