He does not walk and that is OK.
When we moved into our new place, we had to begin working with a whole new team of Early Intervention specialists. During that transition, I think we had about two months off from all services and while I did experience a bit of guilt about it, I also felt that the break from it all was actually quite nice. I was able to stop thinking in terms of Dylan reaching goals and begin seeing that Dylan is doing exactly what he needs to be doing. No pressure, just livin' life.
We started Early Intervention here and as I mentioned in a previous post, one of the very first questions his new PT asked me is, "Why isn't Dylan walking?". It caught me off-guard because I had stopped thinking in terms of what Dylan isn't doing and was in the complete mindset of what Dylan is doing.
She says that he is not walking because he is not confident.
I say that he is not walking because he is not ready. Whether it's physical, mental, emotional, whatever, he is simply not ready. And I am not going to push it, I'm just not. Will I work with him? Yes. Will I encourage him? Yes. Will I cheer him on like a wild woman when he cruises along the furniture? Yes.
Will I stress about it? No.
He is going to get there and he's going to do it when HE is ready. I have learned a long time ago that these things happen not on my timeline. I used to say, "Oh, I wish so badly that he'll learn to walk before he turns 2." or "before he goes to preschool." or "before the summer comes"...
Why? What good does that do?
He's trying.
He's learning.
He's building confidence, albeit slowly.
And it's all OK.
He's a happy kid living his life.
And that means more to me than anything else.
The walking? It will come. It will come exactly when it is suppose to come.
When Dylan is ready.
15 comments:
I totally get it, Laurie!! I felt the same way....and you know what?? When I stopped stressing too........is when Landon starting doing it!! It just so happens that he is doing it when I had "HOPED" he would.....but I gave up stressing about it a long time ago! I remember feeling so discouraged watching lots of other kiddos "younger" than Landon, crawling, standing, cruising and even walking before he was showing ANY signs of any of those!
The timeline is theirs....and theirs only!! Our job is to sit on the sidelines and be the biggest cheerleader they ever had!! Dylan WILL DO IT......when HE IS READY!! You are doing a great job, mama!!!!
I've been so moved by all of your posts since your return to blogging. While our paths may not be exactly the same, I too am on a quest for a deeper meaning and for happiness. I've gotten so much from your honesty and openness. I love your perspective and I think you're on the right track with Dylan. I think we often give ourselves a false sense of security when it comes to milestones. "If Johnny does x by y then all will be well". Living, loving, and letting go are my big lessons from Caleb and all of my kids.
Bravo Mama and Dylan!!!
Well said Laurie!
Laurie.......
You are so very, very right!! I could not have said it better myself. Dylan WILL walk and he will do it when he is ready. Plain and simple.
I am so sorry your new EI PT asked you that very inappropriate question. Makes me scratch my head.....
Dylan is so very lucky to have a Mommy that advocates for him and his timeline:)
Susan
(from your old EI)
Amen. What a great post...I have had moments where I have pushed Colin and it only frustrated me more...so I need to remember this sometimes just to remind myself that he will do these things when Colin. is. ready.
jimmy is the same age and not walking. it will happen soon. i'm kind of nervous about life with him walking. ha ha! xoxo
He's doing great. I also feel compelled to tell you about our friend, Charlie. He's now 11. He didn't walk until he was four. Look at him now (or, last year, actually):
http://www.baltimoresun.com/videobeta/?watchId=89f96b62-d335-4966-834b-16b2423aaed1
I'm cheering wildly for Dylan, Laurie! Big, big (((hugs))) to you.
Hi. I haven't been on here forever(lot of family stuff). Anyways Dylan looks like he is doing GREAT. Wysdom is 2 and is not really on his feet at all. I still and not stressing about it yet. I do want to maximize his environment, but he just doesn't seem ready. I know a few families that have children that are older and they are not walking yet...it seems to be just a waiting game until they are ready.
ps. I see your BST logo. I just completed mine to. You have to share with me how it is going for you. Way to go.
Thanks so much for another great post, Laurie! It's so easy to get caught up in what our kids are not doing and lose sight of all the great things they are doing (and being). Thanks for your honesty!
-Danielle
www.foreverbetter.blogspot.com
All the comments are wonderfully encouraging. I, too, love reading moms "Aha" moments when they finally give up on pushing their timeline and except their child's timeline. Life goes much more smoothly. I really think Dylan will surprise you with new skills now that you are adapting a more relaxed attitude about walking. I'm glad you are blogging regularly again.
I just wanted to add one more thought. Be careful for what you wish for because it always brings unexpected "benefits". For example, Joseph is walking now and hollers when he has to be buckled into a cart. Before walking he happily rode along in the cart for hours while shopping. Now I can't take him anywhere without loud fussing over wanting to walk in the store.
Perfectly said! Thank you for writing this - it is so completely honest and so completely true! It will all happen in Dylan's time and that is just perfect! In the meantime, he's a happy, healthy, content little man!
You are so right. Sam didn't walk until way after his 2nd birthday and I stressed as well. He was strong enough, he just didn't want to do it and then all of a sudden he is doing it, so you have the right attituted and it will come when he gets good and ready to do it.
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