Holy medical people overload! That's how I feel (and I'm sure Dylan feels as well) right now! I know that these people are here to help us, I really do know and appreciate that, but sometimes it's alot. It's just...alot.
So, Dylan is doing well. Yesterday he worked with his OT and EI nurse. He was able to focus on the OT's face and track a tiny bit as well, which is very good progress for him! His eyes have also not been crossing in as much, which is great news as it was a slight concern the last time they were here. The nurse mentioned that it appears as though Dylan is slightly hyper-sensitive - he gets overloaded easily. I am suppose to learn how to swaddle him (is that how you even spell that?) properly so that when he goes into that "spaz mode" as I like to call it, he will feel more safe and secure. Hopefully as he grows and develops more, this will pass.
Dylan also had his 2 month pediatric appointment today. His weight is now at 10 lbs 1.5 oz and he is 21 3/4 inches long! Woohoo! This is great news, as you may remember we are trying to reach 12 lbs before his heart surgery. He received all of his shots and only cried for a little bit. We are suppose to call and schedule a follow-up hearing test with the audiologist as his right ear has not passed twice, but I think we'll wait until after the surgery to go down that road again. All in all, I would say it was a great appointment.
Now...as I was driving home from this appointment I couldn't help but wonder about this icky knot in my stomach. I'm finding that I tend to get this when I am around medical people now. I think it may stem from our experiences of when Dylan was in the NICU. It seemed like every time I was approached by a doctor, I was told something negative...now I'm scared of them - those medical people. I'm scared that they will tell me something else that I do not want to hear.
And another thing that may have contributed to the knot. I noticed that three times, Dylan's doctor used the word "normal". And it was used not in reference to Dylan, but rather in reference to babies who apparently are not like Dylan - these are the normal babies. Yes, I know that like Dylan, I too am hyper-sensitive - especially when it comes to words like this now. I just wish she could have used the word "typical" instead. Because my son is normal! Sheesh, this kid is alot more normal that I am! : )
I wonder if I will ever get used to all this stuff. Will I ever stop being so sensitive about words and the way that people may refer to my son? Will I ever start to feel more comfortable around doctors and nurses and not expect to hear something bad? When will this life that I did not expect start to feel right to me?