Holy medical people overload! That's how I feel (and I'm sure Dylan feels as well) right now! I know that these people are here to help us, I really do know and appreciate that, but sometimes it's alot. It's just...alot.
So, Dylan is doing well. Yesterday he worked with his OT and EI nurse. He was able to focus on the OT's face and track a tiny bit as well, which is very good progress for him! His eyes have also not been crossing in as much, which is great news as it was a slight concern the last time they were here. The nurse mentioned that it appears as though Dylan is slightly hyper-sensitive - he gets overloaded easily. I am suppose to learn how to swaddle him (is that how you even spell that?) properly so that when he goes into that "spaz mode" as I like to call it, he will feel more safe and secure. Hopefully as he grows and develops more, this will pass.
Dylan also had his 2 month pediatric appointment today. His weight is now at 10 lbs 1.5 oz and he is 21 3/4 inches long! Woohoo! This is great news, as you may remember we are trying to reach 12 lbs before his heart surgery. He received all of his shots and only cried for a little bit. We are suppose to call and schedule a follow-up hearing test with the audiologist as his right ear has not passed twice, but I think we'll wait until after the surgery to go down that road again. All in all, I would say it was a great appointment.
Now...as I was driving home from this appointment I couldn't help but wonder about this icky knot in my stomach. I'm finding that I tend to get this when I am around medical people now. I think it may stem from our experiences of when Dylan was in the NICU. It seemed like every time I was approached by a doctor, I was told something negative...now I'm scared of them - those medical people. I'm scared that they will tell me something else that I do not want to hear.
And another thing that may have contributed to the knot. I noticed that three times, Dylan's doctor used the word "normal". And it was used not in reference to Dylan, but rather in reference to babies who apparently are not like Dylan - these are the normal babies. Yes, I know that like Dylan, I too am hyper-sensitive - especially when it comes to words like this now. I just wish she could have used the word "typical" instead. Because my son is normal! Sheesh, this kid is alot more normal that I am! : )
I wonder if I will ever get used to all this stuff. Will I ever stop being so sensitive about words and the way that people may refer to my son? Will I ever start to feel more comfortable around doctors and nurses and not expect to hear something bad? When will this life that I did not expect start to feel right to me?
6 comments:
Well, I must say that I am so excited that he has gained weight! That is great.
I want to reiterate to you how new this still is Laur. All the words you feel sensitive to, although it is not completly the same, I have been feeling the same way. Having this new little blessing in our lives will make us all think a little different and be sensitive to words and things that we have never delt with before. Like I said it is normal that you are sensitive to it all, he is your little precious baby :)
I have been thinking back to how hard it was and still is for me to fit in and how that effects me to this day. But it has made me stronger and more independent person, I hope to instill that in Dylan, that you need to surround yourself with people that love you and he has alot of thoes!!!!
As far as Drs. Well not many people do feel comfortable around them, it is a scary feeling especially when it has to do with your children or loved ones. Hang in their Laur you are doing so great. It will fall into place, things are just scary when you are overwhelmed and don't have all the answers. Love you!
I love you, Kim!
Hi Laurie, I just found your blog.
Dylan is a perfect miracle, a beautiful and sweet baby !!!. Everything is OK :D. You should check out a book called Gifts, this is their website: http://giftsds.segullah.org/
Many Blessings ~
Laurie, I am right there with you on being hyper-sensitive to the words people use. I find myself getting all worked up these days even when people use the word "smart." It's crazy. But this is where we are right now, so we just have to muddle through, eh?
As for swaddling, Finn LOVES to be swaddled. Up until now, I've just been burrito-wrapping him in a receiving blanket, but I found this at BRU last night - it's pretty cool: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2265547
GREAT news about the weight! Love you sweetie!
I know this may seem silly but to me...normal is boring. It's some word that someone had to make up to feel better about themselves. In no way are you yourself normal when you think about it. You're incredible. And so is Dylan. That's what I see sweet girl. I love you.
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