We got a call today from Dylan's surgeon with the date for his pre-op appointment. It will be on Wednesday, October 29th. While I knew that they would be calling soon with a date, it still hit me like a ton of bricks. It is all too real now and I am scared.
Dylan's open heart surgery is in exactly 3 weeks. Gulp.
Last night Dave and I were sitting on the couch watching tv and he turned to me and asked, "What is the hardest thing you have ever done in your life?". I asked him if he meant emotionally hard or physically hard. He said, "Both.".
Ok, let's see. Physically it would have to be giving birth. Twice. But, then again, that marathon I did a few years ago wasn't exactly a piece of cake either. But, yes I'll go with giving birth. That is the hardest thing I've ever physically done in my life.
Emotionally I would have to say...this. This right now is hard for me. This time in my life. This whole surgery thing. The waiting and worrying and wondering. Having to wait for my son to have his open heart surgery is the hardest thing that I've ever done in my life.
I know that he will benefit from this, yes I do. But, it just twists my stomach all up thinking about what he will be going through. He seems so healthy right now. I can't help but wonder...yeah, but, do we really need to do this?
I know, I know. We do. And we will. And some day I will look back at this time in my life and wonder how the heck we got through it.